Use the filter
I have had the opportunity to work in a multi cultural context for the last 5 years. In different roles first as a student then as an employee and also as a friend. The more people you meet the more you realize how unique we are. How communication can cause miscommunication just cause we are different. There are times I just stand and think you could not have said what you jus said. One good example I will always remember is this one. I was walking with a drummer from our music team. As we were walking home I was telling him how good and a nice guy this guitarist was. Immediately my friend replied he is sick init. I apologized saying I might have heart it wrong and asked him to say it again only to listen to the same words. In my country the word sick is used only when you don’t like the person. I spent the next few seconds thinking he can’t say that about the Guitarist. I mustered all my courage and asked him why did he say what he said. He seemed very confused and kept repeating it again knowing that I had got it wrong. Then he replied saying sick as in good init. That was a big relief. His background where he grew up the word good has been replaced by sick and he had learnt it that way.
Both of us were saying the same thing but the message I got was different. That is just one example I should say. And now being in Singapore and talking to people I don’t hesitate to ask what do they mean when they say what they say. Does it have a culturally different meaning. One thing I have learnt working cross culturally is this. Always filter what the other person is saying. Don’t take it as it is. Whoever it is that is saying it mite not mean the way you think he meant it to be. Especially working in a professional context this happens time and time again. A personality clash comes in because people assume what the other person is saying. Wanting to use the filter to see what words can be taken literally is the last thing that one wants to do. I could have very easily in my own understanding towed my friend off for talking wrong about my other friend.
And every time I try to do it I get drained of my energy and feel I can’t keep doing this. Why cant I just say what I want to say and understand it the way I best understand it. How would I know that someone’s not playing me around with words? How can I trust the other person though from a culturally different background actually knows what he is saying. But I also realize if I need to love people as god loves them I need to have a healthy view of that person. Otherwise my views about the person will mar the way God wants me to see this person. And that’s why using the filter is a good option as it gives the benefit of doubt to the other person and in doing so reduces my chances of harboring any bitterness or misunderstanding.
Words once said can never be taken back it can be treated lightly if the intentions were clarified. We live in a world full of words. Everywhere you go and at anytime there is someone talking. Words never stop to be heard. Words can mean life or words can mean death. I was reading the news paper this morning and it talked about a 23yr young software engineer. He threw himself from a high building after his boss shamed him with his words. It was in the news because that this is the second suicide happening in the same company in 6 months. Words are very important and for a Christian words can bring someone to Christ or take them away from Christ too. And that’s serious !
Even as God gives us his wisdom to understand people and love them may we be strengthened in knowing that we are pursuing an important thing.
Both of us were saying the same thing but the message I got was different. That is just one example I should say. And now being in Singapore and talking to people I don’t hesitate to ask what do they mean when they say what they say. Does it have a culturally different meaning. One thing I have learnt working cross culturally is this. Always filter what the other person is saying. Don’t take it as it is. Whoever it is that is saying it mite not mean the way you think he meant it to be. Especially working in a professional context this happens time and time again. A personality clash comes in because people assume what the other person is saying. Wanting to use the filter to see what words can be taken literally is the last thing that one wants to do. I could have very easily in my own understanding towed my friend off for talking wrong about my other friend.
And every time I try to do it I get drained of my energy and feel I can’t keep doing this. Why cant I just say what I want to say and understand it the way I best understand it. How would I know that someone’s not playing me around with words? How can I trust the other person though from a culturally different background actually knows what he is saying. But I also realize if I need to love people as god loves them I need to have a healthy view of that person. Otherwise my views about the person will mar the way God wants me to see this person. And that’s why using the filter is a good option as it gives the benefit of doubt to the other person and in doing so reduces my chances of harboring any bitterness or misunderstanding.
Words once said can never be taken back it can be treated lightly if the intentions were clarified. We live in a world full of words. Everywhere you go and at anytime there is someone talking. Words never stop to be heard. Words can mean life or words can mean death. I was reading the news paper this morning and it talked about a 23yr young software engineer. He threw himself from a high building after his boss shamed him with his words. It was in the news because that this is the second suicide happening in the same company in 6 months. Words are very important and for a Christian words can bring someone to Christ or take them away from Christ too. And that’s serious !
Even as God gives us his wisdom to understand people and love them may we be strengthened in knowing that we are pursuing an important thing.
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